Episode 8: Taming the Inner Critic
The Support & Kindness Podcast
| Greg Shaw | Rating 0 (0) (0) |
| https://kindnessRX.org | Launched: Oct 26, 2025 |
| greg1usa@gmail.com | Season: 1 Episode: 8 |
The Support and Kindness Podcast with Greg and Rich
Episode 8: Taming the Inner Critic
Hosts: Greg, Rich, and returning guest Jay
Episode Summary: In this heartfelt conversation, Greg, Rich, and Jay explore the “inner critic”—the harsh internal voice that judges, shames, and demands perfection. They discuss how it forms through past criticism, bullying, and life experiences, and offer practical tools to change your relationship with it.
From reframing black-and-white judgments to putting thoughts “on trial,” journaling with a “wise adult” voice, and practicing self-compassion, the trio emphasizes love, kindness, and realistic self-acceptance.
Jay shares a vulnerable personal story about body image and identity after an accident. The hosts close with reminders of support resources and encouragement to be kinder to ourselves and others.
Key Themes:
- The inner critic: origins, impact, and perfectionism
- Reframing harsh self-judgment into neutral, workable statements
- Tools: courtroom mental exercise, journaling, wise adult/inner child perspectives
- Self-compassion as a daily practice
- Love, dignity, and the golden rule in everyday life
- Community, connection, and accessible support
Main Points:
- The inner critic often stems from early criticism, bullying, and repeated negative experiences.
- Trying to “silence” the inner critic isn’t always helpful; instead, change your relationship with it.
- Reframe black-and-white judgments (“I’m a failure”) into neutral observations and future-focused actions.
- Practical tools:
- Put thoughts “on trial” to test evidence and challenge assumptions.
- Journal a dialogue: write the critic’s statement, then respond as a wise adult or compassionate inner child.
- Self-love is foundational; it’s hard to accept love from others if you don’t extend it to yourself.
- Everyone struggles—remembering this can reduce isolation and soften the inner critic.
- Love and self-compassion are central across belief systems; treat others as you wish to be treated.
Quotes and Noteworthy Observations:
Greg:
- Quote: “One of the things they talked about was the concept of putting your thoughts on trial.”
- Observation: Greg visually constructs a courtroom—judge, jury, witness box—to logically evaluate thoughts, asking where they came from and whether they hold up. This is a concrete way to shift perspective and engage critical thinking.
- Keypoint: He traces his inner critic back to early experiences with siblings, bullying, and teachers saying, “You’re never going to amount to anything,” noting how negative evidence can stack up, even when it’s false.
Rich:
- Quote: “We’re very critical of ourselves… change your relationship with your inner critic rather than trying to silence it completely.”
- Observation: Rich highlights the problem of black-and-white self-judgments, urging reframes into neutral, learning-focused statements like “That was unpleasant,” followed by “How can we move forward?”
- Keypoint: Journaling as dialogue—write what the inner critic says, then respond as a wise adult with logic, compassion, and a future-focused plan.
Jay:
- Quote: “Putting these silly thoughts that you have about yourself on trial makes a lot of sense to me.”
- Observation: Jay shares openly about an accident that affected his left eye and dented his self-esteem, changing how he related to others and himself. His story underscores how perfectionism and body image fuel the inner critic.
- Keypoint: “You’re never going to find love… if you don’t love yourself.” He reminds listeners that others are struggling too and urges self-kindness.
Practical Takeaways:
- Try the courtroom method: When a harsh thought arises, “prosecute” and “defend” it. Ask for evidence, counterevidence, and a fair verdict.
- Use journaling to reframe:
- Write the critic’s statement.
- Respond as a wise adult: compassionate, logical, future-focused.
- Optionally, add what your inner child needed to hear.
- Replace extreme labels with neutral, accurate descriptions and action steps.
- Practice daily self-compassion: treat yourself with the kindness you offer friends.
- Remember common humanity: everyone faces struggles; you’re not alone.
Calls to Action and Resources:
- If you’re in the United States and struggling, call or text 988 (Crisis & Suicide Lifeline). You don’t need to be suicidal—just say you need someone to talk to.
- Share your favorite episode and topics you want us to cover at kindnessrx.org.
- Follow the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated.
- You are loved. You are valuable. Be gentler with yourself this week.
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Episode Chapters
The Support and Kindness Podcast with Greg and Rich
Episode 8: Taming the Inner Critic
Hosts: Greg, Rich, and returning guest Jay
Episode Summary: In this heartfelt conversation, Greg, Rich, and Jay explore the “inner critic”—the harsh internal voice that judges, shames, and demands perfection. They discuss how it forms through past criticism, bullying, and life experiences, and offer practical tools to change your relationship with it.
From reframing black-and-white judgments to putting thoughts “on trial,” journaling with a “wise adult” voice, and practicing self-compassion, the trio emphasizes love, kindness, and realistic self-acceptance.
Jay shares a vulnerable personal story about body image and identity after an accident. The hosts close with reminders of support resources and encouragement to be kinder to ourselves and others.
Key Themes:
- The inner critic: origins, impact, and perfectionism
- Reframing harsh self-judgment into neutral, workable statements
- Tools: courtroom mental exercise, journaling, wise adult/inner child perspectives
- Self-compassion as a daily practice
- Love, dignity, and the golden rule in everyday life
- Community, connection, and accessible support
Main Points:
- The inner critic often stems from early criticism, bullying, and repeated negative experiences.
- Trying to “silence” the inner critic isn’t always helpful; instead, change your relationship with it.
- Reframe black-and-white judgments (“I’m a failure”) into neutral observations and future-focused actions.
- Practical tools:
- Put thoughts “on trial” to test evidence and challenge assumptions.
- Journal a dialogue: write the critic’s statement, then respond as a wise adult or compassionate inner child.
- Self-love is foundational; it’s hard to accept love from others if you don’t extend it to yourself.
- Everyone struggles—remembering this can reduce isolation and soften the inner critic.
- Love and self-compassion are central across belief systems; treat others as you wish to be treated.
Quotes and Noteworthy Observations:
Greg:
- Quote: “One of the things they talked about was the concept of putting your thoughts on trial.”
- Observation: Greg visually constructs a courtroom—judge, jury, witness box—to logically evaluate thoughts, asking where they came from and whether they hold up. This is a concrete way to shift perspective and engage critical thinking.
- Keypoint: He traces his inner critic back to early experiences with siblings, bullying, and teachers saying, “You’re never going to amount to anything,” noting how negative evidence can stack up, even when it’s false.
Rich:
- Quote: “We’re very critical of ourselves… change your relationship with your inner critic rather than trying to silence it completely.”
- Observation: Rich highlights the problem of black-and-white self-judgments, urging reframes into neutral, learning-focused statements like “That was unpleasant,” followed by “How can we move forward?”
- Keypoint: Journaling as dialogue—write what the inner critic says, then respond as a wise adult with logic, compassion, and a future-focused plan.
Jay:
- Quote: “Putting these silly thoughts that you have about yourself on trial makes a lot of sense to me.”
- Observation: Jay shares openly about an accident that affected his left eye and dented his self-esteem, changing how he related to others and himself. His story underscores how perfectionism and body image fuel the inner critic.
- Keypoint: “You’re never going to find love… if you don’t love yourself.” He reminds listeners that others are struggling too and urges self-kindness.
Practical Takeaways:
- Try the courtroom method: When a harsh thought arises, “prosecute” and “defend” it. Ask for evidence, counterevidence, and a fair verdict.
- Use journaling to reframe:
- Write the critic’s statement.
- Respond as a wise adult: compassionate, logical, future-focused.
- Optionally, add what your inner child needed to hear.
- Replace extreme labels with neutral, accurate descriptions and action steps.
- Practice daily self-compassion: treat yourself with the kindness you offer friends.
- Remember common humanity: everyone faces struggles; you’re not alone.
Calls to Action and Resources:
- If you’re in the United States and struggling, call or text 988 (Crisis & Suicide Lifeline). You don’t need to be suicidal—just say you need someone to talk to.
- Share your favorite episode and topics you want us to cover at kindnessrx.org.
- Follow the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated.
- You are loved. You are valuable. Be gentler with yourself this week.
Greg, Rich, and Jay explore how the inner critic forms and how to reshape your relationship with it, sharing practical tools like putting thoughts “on trial,” journaling from a wise adult or inner child, reframing black-and-white judgments, and practicing daily self-compassion. Jay offers a candid story about self-esteem after an accident, and the hosts emphasize love, the golden rule, and accessible support at 988. Listen and share your favorite episode at kindnessrx.org.
Greg
00:02 - 00:15
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Support and Kindness Podcast with Greg and Rich. In the room today, you have myself, Greg, we have Rich, and we have Jay with us again. Welcome back, Jay. Nice to have you back with us.
Greg
00:15 - 00:45
Today's topic, it's episode number eight, and we're talking about the inner critic or taming the inner critic. And the inner critic is that negative internal voice that judges, demeans, and criticizes a person and it stems from past experiences of criticism. It can derive feelings of inadequacy, shame and anxiety, and it often manifests as demanding perfectionism. Quite an interesting topic.
Greg
00:46 - 00:50
Gentlemen, do you have any thoughts on that? You feel free to jump in.
Rich
00:52 - 01:29
Yeah, I think it's important to practice self-compassion. and to treat yourself with the same compassion and the same kindness that you treat others with. You know, we're very critical of ourselves and changing the relationship with our inner critic is something that we can do rather than trying to silence it completely. but to treat it the way we treat others.
Greg
01:31 - 01:36
I think silence in it can be an unhealthy thing. What do you think, Jay?
Jay
01:36 - 01:48
Well, I have a specific example. I in my teenage years to my early 20s, I was a salesman. I had all the confidence in the world. I could talk to anyone.
Jay
01:48 - 02:03
I had the gift to gab. Then I got into a car accident and. I I messed up my left eye. And ever since that, it took a major dent in my self-esteem.
Jay
02:04 - 02:23
I wore sunglasses for years after just because I didn't want anybody to see me like that. And I've come to terms with it now. It's been, you know, 15 years at least. It was really hard to get over the fact that I wasn't perfect.
Jay
02:24 - 02:47
I wasn't this good-looking young man, in my eyes, this good-looking young man that I once was. And it's even affected my ability to talk to people. And it's hard to tame the inner critic. Always demanding perfection.
Jay
02:54 - 02:56
Yeah, I think that's all I got for that.
Rich
02:56 - 03:40
Well, I think what you mentioned just brought something up about black and white judgments that we have for ourselves. Our inner critic often has black and white judgments, and we don't do that to other people, but we seem to do it to ourself. And that's something that I think taming, um, which is what we're, what we're focused on today and changing our relationship rather than trying to silence it. Um, you know, instead of saying, um, the, the extreme statements that you said, like, you're not, you're not, um,
Greg
03:44 - 03:48
Those extreme statements, the would-ofs, the could-ofs, the should-ofs, the...
Rich
03:50 - 04:05
yeah. Or I'm not handsome anymore, or I'm not successful anymore, or I'm not... or I am a failure, or I am... Not good at this.
Rich
04:05 - 04:35
You can reframe those into more neutral experiences, more neutral statements. That was unpleasant. You know, and try and learn from your experiences instead of black and white judgments, offer comments or statements. I don't know how to offer one for Shay's Eye.
Rich
04:37 - 04:39
I kind of walked myself into a corner there.
Greg
04:39 - 05:15
Well, it makes sense though. During one of my sessions with PHP, one of the things they talked about was the concept of putting your thoughts on trial. and you know so in my mind I constructed this elaborate courtroom and there was the jury and there was the judge and there was the witness box and you know so I was like where did this fort come from what's the fort you know what what was said And then I put it on trial, you know, can you explain for the case for the defense, please explain, you know, why is this true?
Greg
05:16 - 05:47
You know, is there any arguments against this? And, you know, it sounds kind of a bit odd, but for me, you know, the usual, you know, sometimes it's easy to say, change your thinking and people, you know, say that, but it's hard to do. And so it might look something different for us personally. And for me, it looked like putting it on in a courtroom, which basically all I was doing was changing the way I think about where did it, you know, where did it come from, but basically just put it on trial.
Greg
05:48 - 06:00
And that really helped me. But I think my inner critic came from a lifetime of You know, you're not good enough. It started pretty early on with my siblings. There was a lot of bullying in school, teachers and other.
Greg
06:01 - 06:53
students and you know teachers saying you're never going to amount to anything you're not going to be good enough but i bounced back from it and you know i did sales i ran my own business and you know was um reasonably successful and then you get into relationships right you grow up and then you have an adult relationship with you know your childhood bullies right or you just find new bullies you know if you don't adjust and you don't adapt and so they can put you down and so you've got this up and down and over time that ingrains and it gets harder each time then to dispute the fact well what's the lowest common denominator you know i'm always present in the situation so it must be and so that evidence kind of it's not it's not the truth it's false evidence but it stacks up again so for me that whole courtroom thing jay i think you had a thought
Jay
06:54 - 07:22
Yeah, I was just going to say, I think that's an incredible idea of a tool to use. I think people should really think about that, because you have to prove your case beyond a reasonable doubt in court. And putting these silly thoughts that you have about yourself on trial makes a lot of sense to me. Also, I think that love is an important thing.
Jay
07:23 - 07:35
for most people. And the fact is, you're never going to find love from friends, from a significant other, if you don't love yourself. It just can't happen.
Rich
07:36 - 08:58
Similar to what the standing trial, I know that I've used journaling and where you kind of write down what your inner critic says and then respond. Using What a wise adult or what your inner child might say either one As a wise adult is not going to allow your inner critic to Be so critical and judgmental. They're going to look at the situation and with a lot more logic and compassion and wisdom. And they're going to reframe the situation into something that you can handle and how you can move forward As opposed to looking at how you've messed up this situation in the past, they're going to reframe it in how we can move forward to accomplish.
Rich
08:59 - 09:18
You know, that's how the wise adults that I've been around have made a difference in my life. They've always been looking positive, future-focused. And you can do that in your journal. Write down what your inner critic says and respond like a wise adult.
Rich
09:19 - 09:31
These are ideas like your courtroom. Make your inner critic stand trial. I think
Greg
09:31 - 09:31
these are
Rich
09:31 - 09:31
good
Greg
09:32 - 09:48
ideas. Yeah, you'd also mentioned your inner child and I think sometimes in that journal and maybe writing down what it would have been helpful for the inner child to have heard. And then maybe seeking out where you can hear that. But I don't know, it goes down kind of a tangent.
Greg
09:49 - 09:58
Some people like the concept of the inner child and stuff. It's, you know, there, there is merit to it. Um, so, you know, absolutely. JJ.
Jay
09:58 - 10:14
I think, um, it's easy for us to forget that everybody has problems. It always, you're, you're, you're always focused on your own issues and things like that, but it's easy to forget that people are going through the same things as you.
Greg
10:16 - 10:30
Right. What I hope people get from this is to know that you are loved. If no one's told you lately to love you, I love you. Don't let anyone put you down or rain on your parade.
Greg
10:30 - 10:31
Gentlemen, any more thoughts on this?
Rich
10:34 - 10:45
I love you guys. It's important to remember that you guys are loved. Everybody should know their love. We weren't just told to love our fellow man, but to practice love and respect.
Rich
10:45 - 11:23
Um, it's, it's central to, you know, every, every religion, um, from every part of the world, every belief system. Um, you know, even if it's not a religion, even if it's just a belief system, a, uh, a, uh, school of thought, if you will, um, central to them is self-compassion and love for our fellow man as well. So we've got to care for ourselves and we've got to care for our fellow man.
Jay
11:24 - 11:47
The three of us have actually said on many occasions that the way that we judge people is the way that they treat others. That's the golden rule and I think that's One of the most important things that you can do in life is treat others the way you want to be treated. And like the both of them said, I love whoever's listening to this. You are valuable.
Jay
11:50 - 11:55
People do love you and. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Greg
11:56 - 12:10
Absolutely. If you're in the United States and you're in crisis or you're struggling, I want you to know there's a number called that's nine eight eight. and you can call that, that's the crisis line, if you need someone to talk to. You don't have to be suicidal to talk to them.
Greg
12:10 - 12:19
You can let them know you just need someone to talk to and they'll have a conversation with you. But what about you? What's been your favorite podcast episode so far? We'd love to hear that.
Greg
12:19 - 12:31
And what would you like to hear us discuss? You can let us know at kindnessrx.org. Come back next week and we'll have another discussion. Thanks and have a safe week and let's build a kinder world together.
